Well, a famous doctor said something that has stirred up our community -and rightfully so! Dr. Phil said, "100 out of 100 relationships that involve caregiving fail." Seriously, this man must not spend a lot of time with a variety of couples that actually involve caregiving. Divorce (specifically) is an epidemic that does not just happen to the people he spoke about. Of course some of those relationships fail. Lots of relationships fail that have two totally healthy people. The failure does not solely depend on a "caregiver" aspect.
When Jeremy and I took our vows in 2011, in sickness and in health was said. We had no idea just how important those vows would be in our marriage. I had migraine, but since that day my health has declined. I was diagnosed with chronic migraine and polycystic ovarian syndrome. We have tried many different treatment options and stand together in decisions about my health. Our mountains have included life in the military and all that entails, miscarriages and learning how to heal together. Our life is filled with appointments, medications and trying to manage (especially chronic migraine) my symptoms. After telling Jeremy the 100/100 quote, he said it was so ridiculous. This incredible man never looks at me with irritation or resentment. I have never been around someone that is so good at taking care of another person, it is a gift and it changed my life. He doesn't look at our life through that depressing lens that Dr. Phil described... He said this is just our life, and I love it, I love you. That's the bottom line- we love each other and our marriage is the priority no matter what is going on.
The way I see it, Jeremy and I are both caregivers to each other. We take care of each other, have patience and understanding. We have compassion for what we are going through individually and as a couple. We are attentive to each others needs and come to one another with caring and tenderness. We trust each other and are dependent on one another because that is what makes our marriage strong, happy and successful. When I took my vows, I knew that I would be a caregiver to his heart and soul as much as I would be to his body if need be. Caregiver is not a dirty word that will doom your relationship... It is a beautiful commitment. It is a chance to have a deeper understanding and connection with your partner. It is an perfect way to apply agape love- to love like Christ, selflessly, sacrificially and unconditionally - into your marriage.