A name is important. Any parent lamenting over what to name a child knows that making the final decision is difficult. You want it to me be meaningful and sound just right. Jeremy and I are very decisive -maybe to a fault- and know what we like/don't like. When it comes to kids names we go back and fourth for days (some times weeks) until we find the one ... and we even have names picked and ready to go if we are blessed with another child. That's just how we are. However, I feel like we had an easier time naming our boys than I had naming this blog. I don't know why it was so hard for me. Maybe it was because it was my own personal journey, and I had to ultimately make the final decision myself. I bounced dozens of names around (Jeremy and my friends can attest to that!) and my heart knew that Beauty And The Migraine Beast was it. Yes, I love the classic Disney movie. It is my all time favorite, and the first movie I remember seeing in theaters (and I cried crocodile tears when I thought the Beast died), but that is not why I was inspired to weave the title into my own personal blog.
Life is overflowing with beauty- a sunny day, playing my kids, listening to them giggle and explore, going on fun family outings and just enjoying time well spent. Migraine is the beast that creeps in and plucks the petals off of your rose. It is selfish, unyielding and isolating. It wears you down and makes you feel unwatered and unworthy or enjoying the beauty of life. Sunny days become annoying, sweet giggles and playing becomes painful. Migraine takes aways the beauty of your time. Life is the Beauty and migraine is the Beast.
There are more lessons to be learned from that classic Disney movie that I have seen mirrored in my life and use as inspiration...
1) Beauty is found within - There are many days that I know I probably look a little like Beast, a hot mess, because of my migraines...but the most important thing is the kindness, love and perseverance I try to put out into the world.
2) Take chances even if it is scary- The Beast is afraid of opening himself up to love because of fear of rejection, he thinks nobody could love him the way he is. For years I kept my struggle with migraines quiet... but I decide to start my blog, even though it was scary, in hopes of helping people become more understanding and to show others suffering that they don't need to do it silently.
3) Happily ever after is not a cookie cutter thing and there is no room for selfishness- My marriage is lived in more sickness than in health, and I can speak for both of us when I say that is not the vision we dreamed together when we first got married. My migraines have progressively gotten worse, and we have had to adjust and learn a new path when it comes to what works for our family. We put each other first in ways that no amount of marriage prep could have predicted.
4) Chip has a chip, but is still awesome. That sweet little cup has a flaw, but he still saved the day and has a great, sunny attitude about life. My flaw, obviously, is my chronic migraines but I refused to let that rob me of having a joyful life.
5) Life is about learning - Everyone has a story that deserves to be told, and lessons can be learned from them even if they are different from your own.
6) Letting go is hard - I am back to that crocodile tears on the balcony scene! There are many things I have had to let go of because of my chronic migraines, some things are little and others more significant, but it is never easy. When I have to let go of something, I try to focus on what I still have and what the future holds.